Saved by Sahifa Al Sajjadiya

I'm always saved by a book. Whether I'm feeling sort of effy, whether I have a pounding headache, when I wake up and before I sleep, I'm saved by it. When I'm afraid of death or when I encounter what I'm afraid of, I know that the book will save me.

I've been feeling terribly guilty since yesterday night. I realised how much I've been taking from the book but haven't really bothered to learn more about its writer or to thank its writer for the life tool he has given me for that matter. The Sahifa Al Sajjadiya which I'm talking about is a collection of prayers that say exactly what I feel (or what I didn't even know I was feeling) in whatever situation I go through.

I have previously written about a grandson of the Prophet (pbuh) who sacrificed his life for the sake of God and mankind. A grandson who went thirsty for days and fought alone and by himself against hundreds of thousands to stop the oppression and dictatorship of a tyrant. Imam Al Husain (A.S) did not live after that day but you won't ever hear that he was anxious of this fact. This was because he knew he was
leaving a son, Imam Ali Zain Al Abidin (A.S), at the time very sick, who will later make sure that his plight and rememberance will never go to waste and that the lessons of sacrifice and living for others will continue to be taught.

Imam Zain Al Abiden (A.S) used duaa and prayers as a main tool of teaching these lessons. I would think he who has seen his father, uncle, brothers, cousins and companions slaughtered infront of him would be too preoccupied with his own sadness. I would think he who was living at the time of the same tyrant who killed his loved ones would be preoccupied with taking revenge and thoughts of hatred to the murderer of his family. I would think I would hear the same stories I hear in movies and read in books and autobiographies. However, Imam Zain Al Abiden (A.S) shows me through his Sahifa Al Sajadiya how wrong my thoughts and presumptions are. If anything, everything he saw and went through made him only more compassionate and empathetic for others. To the extent where he writes out my prayers for me and anyone else seeking to move closer to God.

He tells me what I feel, better than I tell myself. He doesn't just give me the solution to my situation. He reassures me when I'm sick and when I'm sad and always shows me the bright side of things. He thanks God on my behalf for the bright side.

I would think that the son of the Prophet (pbuh) and the best of humankind would know that I'm not as thankful and faithful as him. I would think he would put a different prayer for me to say than the one he would say because of his knowing of how less appreciative and grateful of blessings I am, and how sinful and absent-minded I tend to be. But the Imam proves me wrong here too. He gives me the benefit of the doubt, he assumes that I would be more grateful than I am and always repenting for my sins. At the same time, the Imam (A.S) understands and never judges. He knows that I would feel down when I'm ill, that I would have debts on me, that I would have my fears and temptations. He knows all this but he doesn't judge or criticise, he picks me up from the oppression I have caused for myself and helps me find my way out.

Before being sorry to him for not seeking out to learn more about him, I am sorry to myself. For I have been the one who has been most at loss for not doing so earlier.